No One Cares About My Fantasy Football Team, 2011 Edition

Ndamukong Soup Nazis

Last year, around this time, I wrote two posts about my two fantasy football teams. I’m going there again, in spite of the title of this post.  If you have zero interest in fantasy football, feel free to skip the rest of this post, as well as the next post.

*waiting for some people to walk out*

Okay, for those of you still here, thanks for sticking around!

First up was my “Balls of Shame” draft, although the league is being renamed this year to “Pigskin & Poker”, due to the fact that it’s a group of poker buddies.  Last year’s draft is detailed here, as well as my victorious outcome in winning the league here.  It’s a PPR league, 16 round snake draft with 8 players; starting lineup is 2 QBs, 2 RBs, 3 WR, 1 WR/TE flex, 1 K, 1 Defense/Special Teams, and 6 bench spots.

Also worth noting that this is a keeper league. If you drafted a player last year in the 8th round or later, and he stayed on your roster all season, you could keep that player and sacrifice the pick from the same round this year. My example was Santonio Holmes, picked in the 15th round last year; I kept him for this year, which means I didn’t get a 15th round pick.  Seven of the eight teams elected to keep a player:

• Malcolm Floyd (8th round)
• Jamaal Charles (9th round)
• Arian Foster (10th round)
• Mike Wallace (11th round)
• Dez Bryant (12th round)
• Darren McFadden (15th round)
• Santonio Holmes (15th round)

Here’s the results of my draft, with commentary mixed in where appropriate:

1. QB Tom Brady, NE (4th overall; in a 2 QB league, 6 were taken in the 1st round, with only 2 RBs coming off the board)
2. WR Andre Johnson, HOU (the 2nd round had the run on WRs, with 5 coming off the board; still only 3 RBs taken in the 1st two rounds!)
3. QB Matt Schaub, HOU (9th QB taken, making me the second team owner to go with two QBs in the first three rounds; doubles up my points with Andre Johnson)
4. WR Miles Austin, DAL (Opposing defenses have to worry about Dez Bryant, Jason Witten, Felix Jones, etc.)
5. WR Vincent Jackson, SD (Hmm, maybe I should start thinking about taking a RB…)
6. RB Matt Forte, CHI (Seems like great value here to get someone who catches passes out of the backfield; 45th pick overall)
7. RB Felix Jones, DAL (I’m a big buyer on Felix Jones this year, and I suspect this will be a winner of a pick!  Healthy, improved offensive line, a healthy Tony Romo and an emerging Dez Bryant to open the field, no more Marion Barber to split carries, etc.)
8. WR Anquan Boldin, BAL (Not the big play receiver he was in Arizona, but he’ll get tons of catches; Lee Evans should help stretch the defense)
9. RB Fred Jackson, BUF (Should be solid enough to be my bye-week RB; I completely missed spotting DeAngelo Williams sitting out there, and so did everyone else… he wound up going in the 11th round!)
10. QB Jay Cutler, CHI (I’d just read the Sports Illustrated article, “You’re Wrong About Jay Cutler“… I hope I’m right during the Brady/Schaub bye weeks!)
11. TE Dallas Clark, IND (Since we don’t have to start a TE, he fell pretty far, but I see him as being a solid WR/TE option; every week, I get to start 4 out of Johnson/Austin/Jackson/Boldin/Holmes/Clark)
12. RB Marshawn Lynch, SEA (Ugh… DeAngelo Williams had just been taken off the board, starting a run of four RBs ahead of my pick)
13. WR Steve Smith, PHI (Gavin and I both looked up in the 13th round, both with the name ‘Steve Smith’ on the tip of our tongue; he got the Carolina version one pick before me; I’ve already dropped him, figuring a 3rd or 4th option on the Eagles that was coming off major knee surgery wasn’t a need; Danny Amendola replaces him on my bench)
14. DEF Detroit Lions (I was the second-to-last owner to pick a defense… I’m betting on that scary defensive line; named my team “Ndamukong Soup Nazis”)
15. WR Santonio Holmes, NYJ (Keeper pick, awesome value!)
16. K Garrett Heatley, NO (Gotta have a kicker…)

Not a bad draft, mostly safe picks, not many question marks.  My starting lineup on most days will consist of guys on playoff-caliber teams, with lots of weapons around them, no one who a defense can key on and try to shut down. I like it.

No One Cares About My Fantasy Football Team

Fantasy sports, especially fantasy football, is big business.  It’s here to stay.  And we all talk about it to each other, in spite of the fact that no one cares about your fantasy team but you.

That being said… I’m going to talk about my fantasy football team.  So, since no one cares but me, I’ll be the only person reading any further into this post.  Feel free to walk away, check back on my blog the next time I post something that matters to anyone other than me.  I’ll understand.

If you’re still reading this far, here’s the deal.  This year, I’m in two fantasy football leagues — one with some poker buddies, one with co-workers.  Tonight was the draft for the poker buddies league.  Tomorrow night is the co-workers draft.

This team is Roger Goodell's worst nightmare.

The poker buddies league, named “Balls Of Shame” for whatever reason that someone came up with, is an 8-team league that includes at least 3 fantasy football neophytes.  Always makes for an adventure.  The lineup settings were a little different than I was used to, and I haven’t really studied up on the scoring system.  Because it’s a group of degenerate gamblers, there are all sorts of proposition bets and ways to chop up the pot.  I didn’t even bother to try to keep up with all the permutations; I’ll take the philosophy of “Just win, baby!”

Brief details on structure:  16 round snake draft with 8 players; starting lineup is 2 QBs, 2 RBs, 3 WR, 1 WR/TE flex, 1 K, 1 Defense/Special Teams, and 6 bench spots. Scoring looks pretty standard at my first glance.

Here’s the results of my draft, with commentary mixed in where appropriate:

1. RB Ray Rice, BAL (4th overall)
2. RB Maurice Jones-Drew, JAC (Concerns about his knee kept him dropping, not to mention 4 QBs taken among the first 12 picks)
3. WR Brandon Marshall, MIA (I’m a little worried about his QB, but Marshall’s still a beast)
4. WR Roddy White, ATL (So long as QBs went early, might as well gobble up the great WRs)
5. WR Greg Jennings, GB (Okay, this is getting a little ridiculous on the WRs)
6. RB Cedric Benson, CIN (Insurance for MJD and bye week coverage, plus he was just too good to pass up this deep in the draft)
7. QB Ben Roethlisberger, PIT (Hmm, my first QB and he’s sitting out at least the first 4 weeks plus a bye in Week 5…)
8. QB Kyle Orton, DEN (And his beard)
9. QB Vince Young, TEN (My RBs and WRs had better turn in monster seasons…)
10. DEF/ST Minnesota (The run on defenses was starting; Jared Allen will get his sacks, and Percy Harvin will pick up some special teams points)
11. TE Tony Gonzalez, ATL (I didn’t actually need a tight end for the WR/TE flex spot, but he was better than the next best WR; Jason Witten was also available, and it was a coin flip)
12. K Stephen Gostkowski, NE (Token member of the Patriots)
13. QB Jay Cutler, CHI (Just in case all my other QBs suck and he winds up lighting it up in the Mike Martz offense)
14. RB Thomas Jones, KC (Very solid pick as a 4th RB this late in the draft)
15. WR Santonio Holmes, NYJ (Who needs the waiver wire in the second half of the season when you have players on your bench coming backfrom suspension???)
16. WR Vincent Jackson, SD (Who needs the waiver wire in the second half of the season when you have players on your bench coming back from contract holdouts AND suspension???  Derrick Mason was the safe choice here… why start playing it safe in the 16th round, though?)

Feast or famine with the depth and the quarterbacks.  My strategy seems to have been high-risk, high-reward.  Hopefully, Roethlisberger and Holmes will serve as nice reinforcements in mid-season when they come back from their respective suspensions.  Vincent Jackson will have to serve a suspension when he finally reports to a team, but he could be a beast in the second half of the season if he comes back to San Diego, or gets traded to a team with a halfway decent QB situation.

Let’s face it, any time you can draft THREE players who are serving NFL suspensions, you have to do it.  My new team name is Goodell’s Nightmare.